Hotel washroom Pixabay
Photograph credit: Pixabay

Dubai’s Best Bog: Someone Is Anonymously Reviewing Bathrooms In The Emirate

If you’ve lived in Dubai long enough, you’ve probably heard people ranting about how life is fast-paced, but there’s one journalist who finds it tough to keep himself busy and has taken to reviewing bathrooms in Dubai for a laugh.

Reviewing a bathroom, say what?!

There are, undoubtedly, several different fandoms, be it pop culture, automobiles, fashion or sports, but this journo’s about bathrooms is a completely potty! On his Instagram handle, @bathroomsofdubai, he’s been up to some serious reviewing of Dubai’s bathrooms. Judging by the reviews, the journalist seems to have a taste for interior design and architecture, appreciating the tiling pattern, colour scheme, floors and walls.

I used to really love these bathrooms at the Jumeirah Al Naseem hotel. They’ve lost a bit of their luster, but I still rate them. Here’s why:

I am a fan of the chunky tiling pattern, which oftentimes looks dated, but in this case looks quite fun, in my opinion.

The cubicles all have heavy doors for maximum privacy, which is always appreciated.

The best part of this bathroom, however, is the layout, which perhaps doesn’t translate in to the photos. 
The motion sensor pipe taps which come down from the ceiling are a brilliant touch, as is the backlit fern pattern. 
Together, they form a lovely centerpiece for the bathroom, organised around a solid marble sink.

I remain a fan of these bathrooms, but feel perhaps they have an intangible quality that is hard to articulate. If you’ve been, I’d love to know what you think, and whether I’m on to something!


Not every review is easy going!

Some hotels like, Palazzo Versace, Four Seasons DIFC and  Mandarin Oriental survived the cut with above average positive reviews, but few iconic landmarks like Atlantis The Palm, Burj Al Arab and Dubai Opera came under scrutiny by the anonymous reviewer, claiming their soap is “cheap,” not looking “imaginative,” or the decorations seeming “dated.”

These bathrooms at the Atlantis hotel on the Palm are pretty drab. The oppressive beige paint job and green marble feels dated, and the hand towels are terrible.

They are the cheap kind that don’t dry your hands at all: It’s like trying to absorb water with a sheet of plastic. Weirdly, they had a second pile of much nicer, fluffy and absorbent towels hidden in the corner, next to a random shaving kit. Where’s the consistently, lads!? The actual toilets are bizarre, so poorly lit that you can barely see your own hands once you’ve closed the door behind you. I am sure they are good to nap in, but generally they just feel like you’re in some sort of escape room challenge as you fumble around for the toilet paper. The last photo is a representation of this.

Not many redeeming qualities here.


Check out our top pick of the most unconventional bathroom review: An A380 flight!

Taking a dump from 39,000 feet, on board an Emirates A380, how ‘bout dat? No kiddin’ but the journalist reviewed a bathroom from the luxury airline while flying from Dubai to San Francisco! Here’s what he said: “The flowers and Bulgari aftershave give it a bit more gravity than your average cubicle, and the backlit mirror offers a slightly more flattering reflection after 15 hours of flying than you would usually get.”

A room with a view. In terms of bathrooms with spectacular views, I may have peaked. Unless I get to visit the ISS and get a photo looking out at space from the loo, it’ll be hard to top the sight of endless arctic tundra from 39,000 feet, on board an Emirates A380.

Flying over the North Pole from Dubai to San Francisco was a great, eerie experience, and the views afforded by the toilets were pretty unforgettable too.
The bathroom is spacious, clean, and comfortable (for an airplane toilet). The flowers and Bulgari aftershave give it a bit more gravity than your average cubicle, and the backlit mirror offers a slightly more flattering reflection after 15 hours of flying than you would usually get.

Overall, just a quality bathroom (as far as high-altitude toilets go) with an unrivaled view.